Saturday, June 10, 2006

Soccer 'Man'ia

This post goes out to all the women all around the world who are making faces because their significant others (assuming men here) are getting geared up to be glued to their TV sets.

I wanted to make a post earlier but Jaggu beat me to it. He lists some really important points that women have to keep in mind when the soccer season is on. I thought I'll just add a few more by enlisting some points on my blog.

1. Please DO NOT ask me the rules of soccer when I am watching the game. If you really want to know, look it up on the Internet or go to the bookstore and buy a "Soccer for dummies" book. I couldn't care what you did as long as you don't interuppt my viewing. And please DO NOT ask silly, stupid questions like "Oh, can you tell me why he is walking out the field?" (He got a red card damnit!).

2. Like Jaggu mentioned, when the games are on, the TV remote and the TV (quite obvious) belongs to me! If I have to go to the restroom when the game is on, I will turn up the volume on the game and take the remote control with me to the restroom. I want to make sure I hear the crowd even when I am in the restroom. If you change the channel by playing around with the buttons on the TV, I WILL NOT flush the toilet (I couldn't care how gross it sounds) and you would have to deal with it. I warned you beforehand about what you should NOT be doing. So it's not my fault.

3. If my favorite team wins a game, I'm going to be thrilled and excited about it. Don't think you are being smart by saying "Oh, I'm sure this game was fixed/rigged/set up". It is not going to affect me or bring down my excitement. I wanted my favorite team to win and they won! That's all I care about.

4. Please don't grimace looking at all the empty beer bottles around the house. I will clear up the mess after the games are over (In other words, on July 10, 2006). If you volunteer to clear the mess up, you are always welcome to do it. But keep in mind not to trash sealed beer bottles. I know I have to make it clear to women.

5. When the game is on (especailly when it comes down to penalty shoot outs), please get off the phone and stay put in a position. I couldn't care if you are speaking with your uncle's uncle whom you haven't spoken with for a decade! I won't come to the phone to speak with him and please ask him not to scream from the other end! It will disturb my concentration on the game.

Hmmm... I think I have covered everything I could think of for an enjoyable soccer season. If you women have any inputs to share, please don't tell me anything. Why? Because my rules always make sense. Always.

On behalf of all men (who like soccer), I shall bid adieu now. And yeah, please cheer for Italy. OK? Thank you.

27 Comments:

Blogger The Girl Who Sold The World said...

Hahahaha...everyone must be knowing that this was coming...what with FIFA kicking off and all. :P

I WILL NOT flush the toilet
Eeeeeeeewwww, I pity your girlfriend/future wife/whatever...poor thing. Shame! Tsk tsk.

But keep in mind not to trash sealed beer bottles.
Hahahaha, isn't that what people do when they're real drunk? :P

And no, Italy...it has to be Brazil...OR Czech Republic...yipeeee. *Boos Italy*. :P

11:08 PM  
Blogger Kusum Rohra said...

I pity the female who will hve to deal with ur mania.

2:30 AM  
Blogger ritzkini said...

hmm..situation was that bad,eh ?
:D

9:22 PM  
Blogger Rohit Talwar said...

ITALY ITALY ITALY!
Bidu, kal ka match dekha tha?


Ahem...I KNOW! I got smses from a friend yesterday while the games were on...about the rules and all that. I had to switch off my phone.


Navdeep....MAAR KHAYEGI TU!

4:52 AM  
Blogger Sayesha said...

And the Viks we know (and okay fine, luuurve) is back in the house! :D

11:07 AM  
Blogger Rays Of Sun said...

Huh@ dont care to explain..then dont care to get mad:P

12:10 PM  
Blogger Virus said...

no way mate.. i am rooting here for the socceroos!...

ole ole ole!!!...

10:41 PM  
Blogger educatedunemployed said...

Girls in your life are that bad haan?.

So now shall we put down our rules for shopping? HUH? HUH? HUH?

4:10 AM  
Blogger Casablanca said...

Hmmm, me and most of my girlfriends are also following the world cup. Maybe not as religiously, but still. So who are these bimbos thou art hanging out with? ;)

3:21 AM  
Blogger Somya said...

Points taken Vikram. Oh so u r supporting italy well I am praying for Argentina and wid QF b/w Germany n Arg I am really looking forward to some great action. So lets make it a deal u pray for my argenting n i'll pray for italy. Simple.

11:33 PM  
Blogger educatedunemployed said...

You have been tagged

10:04 AM  
Blogger Drops Of Jupiter said...

I am so rooting for Italy, what with Totti and other hotties playing for it. *puts on serious face* Of course I do love the game too...and im heartbroken about what happ to England. =(

12:17 AM  
Blogger The Smiling Girl said...

Ok Sir.. Cheering for Italy at the moment and oogling at Totti and Toni...:), and grudginly liking Lehmann..:)
I should say I liked these rules, though these have not been let on me yet, I am following all of them for the general peace between all those souls who are cheering Italy in the living room!:)

Good post.

1:16 PM  
Blogger Living in Unreality said...

eeeyyyaaa !

u just about accentuated all the anguish women go through during these tournaments.. (soccer,cricket whichever..)

12:50 AM  
Blogger Raindrop said...

Men. :P

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